Tattoo - Visual Art Form

The Porn Diet

The Porn Diet

If a diet plan works for someone, it's most likely because it's a plan. Having a plan - and there are many out there - means one is keeping track and making at least a few healthy food choices. People become unhealthy and/or gain weight*** when they don't monitor what goes into their bodies.

[***Notice that I'm not equating weight loss (or weight gain) with being healthy. Not everyone who diets or exercises cares about being healthy, just thin or muscular. Not everyone who diets or exercises cares about being thin, just healthy.]

I have friends who follow different plans: Some do Paleo. Others do keto. Some are vegetarians. A lot of people at our dojo are now doing the Gracie diet. My plan - if I dare call it a plan - is what I call the "Porn Diet." This plan is based on the answer to the question, "What's the difference between art and porn?"

You know it when you see it.

I look at food the same way. Carrots, broccoli, salmon, blueberries, apples, spinach, kale, wild rice, chicken breast? Good for you. Candy bars, McDonald's, soda? Bad for you.

Oversimplifying, you say? Sure. There's more to eating healthy. That's part of the Porn Diet too. Giant portions that make you so full you feel sick? Bad or you. Moderation? Good for you. See? You know it when you see it. It doesn't take a nutritionist to figure this out.

Yes, I'm oversimplifying. If you want to be a pro athlete or you want Tyler Durden abs, you have to monitor things more carefully. And you have to exercise. I'm really not qualified to tell you much more than that. What I can tell you is what I'm planning to do:

1. No fast food
2. No junk food
3. No soda
4. Vegetables at least once a day
5. At least two liters of water a day
6. Protein at every meal
7. Vitamins & Minerals
8. Limited sugar intake
9. Occasional exceptions to the rules because you should be able to enjoy life too
10. There is no 10. There is only Zuul.

The plan is to take this list and turn it into, well, a plan. That's where the subject matter goes well over my head. I can't tell you what to do. Best I can do is attempt to figure out what's the best plan for me. My goals could very well be different than yours. The point I'm trying to get across is that consistency - the consistency that accompanies a structured dieting routine - in healthy eating will help you get healthier. That's my plan. This is the PORN Diet:

Portion control: I keep hearing that one Prince song in my head here. US citizens in particular eat horribly. We eat way too much, and "the bigger the better." Restaurants and fast food joints exploit this with no shame. Go Large, baby. Eating to be healthy isn't just about eating less (sometimes it's not about eating less at all), it's about eating less at each meal. Smaller meals are better than large meals, and especially better than gorging yourself until you can't feel your feet.

Observation: Watch what you eat. Keep track of what goes in your body. Like I said, a plan tends to work because it's a plan, which means people are more aware of what they eat.

Regulation: Observing is for the purpose of regulating. What am I eating, and what should I be eating? What should I change? What should I add? And you gotta hit your numbers. Everything we eat is just a complilation of different numbers: carbs, fat, protein, sugar, sodium, vitamins, minerals, calories. It's all numbers. Everything we eat is comprised of billions and billions of different bits of starstuff (Mandatory Sagan reference. Thank you). I'm planning to hit my minimum requirement of protein a day (which, according to WebMD, is between 72-81 grams a day for a guy my size), and not go over my maximum amount of daily fats and carbs and sodium and sugar.

Nutrition: Portion control requires observation, observation is for the purpose of regulation, and regulation should lead to proper nutrition. The more work you put into it, the more knowledge you'll get, and the better you'll understand what kind of diet you should have. For me, I'm starting slow. People jump headlong into life-changing diet plans and they fail because it's too much change too soon. I'm planning to ease into this. I'm just using a little common sense. What should I eat? This is the heart of the Porn Diet: you know it when you see it. If my choice at a given point of the day is between, say, a donut or a banana, well, you know.


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