Recently I had the opportunity to visit Clayton, who is (as regular readers of this blog might know) a Christian minister and one of my best friends. While I am not to blame for his conversion to Christianity (he did that about a year before I met him), I was instrumental in his early development as a thinker. We met in 2001 on the campus of the University of Illinois at Springfield. I was a minister at the time, finishing my studies at Lincoln Christian College and doing my internship with a campus ministry who worked with students at UIS and Lincoln Land Community College, which is right next to UIS.
As time passed, Clayton and I moved beyond the "mentor/student" roles to becoming close friends. We were even roommates at one point. Even though each of us has traversed different ideological paths since we met, he and I can bounce thoughts off each other - regardless of how ridiculous they are - and each of us is willing to listen to the other. Clayton is one of the few people I know who won't judge me, regardless of what I tell him. He knows I won't judge him either, so he feels comfortable setting aside his minister's countenance and speaking with me plainly.
Spending the weekend at his house meant going out for pizza (twice) and talking (a lot). I'd like to share my reflections on the conversations of this weekend (as well as the many conversations we've had in the past):
Homosexuality
Clayton told me about a status update on Facebook he wrote in which he explained that he "is heterosexual, and conservatively Christian in his views about orientation. And by conservative Christian I mean this; I believe that we are all sinners. I believe that homosexuality is a sin, as is lust, drunkeness, lying, and a whole host of other things, most of which we are ALL guilty of." Clayton followed this statement with the following:
"For a person to genuinely feel fear of being rejected by the entity that should be most known for its love and acceptance of people (the Church) is a shame to Christians everywhere. Hear me, I don't believe it's right for a person to be homosexual, just like I don't believe it's right for a person to be an alcoholic, but I will always strive to love you despite your imperfections, and hope you will love me despite mine."
This started a discussion thread of 56 comments. Some of the comments were from people telling Clayton that he shouldn't judge others. Other comments were an attempt to argue that the Bible doesn't actually condemn homosexual behavior. All Clayton wanted to do was: 1) be clear concerning his beliefs about homosexuality; and, 2) show his willingness to love and accept people even if he doesn't agree with their behavior.
That's not good enough for some people, and I understand why they feel this way. I too long for a society in which we live in peace regardless of race, gender, age, religion or sexual orientation. Well-known Christians who protest homosexuality publicly - the James Dobsons and Pat Robertsons of the world - work toward turning our country into a fascist theocracy. This makes people a bit skittish whenever any Christian speaks out against homosexual behavior.
Christians have a problem with homosexuality for one reason: the Bible condemns it. Regardless of how Christians who are pro-homosexual try to spin it, the Bible conveys a pretty clear message of anti-homosexuality. Both the Old and New Testaments describe homosexual behavior as immoral. Sure, Jesus never said anything about homosexuality (that we know of), but keep in mind that the ministry of Jesus as recorded in the gospels is a ministry to the Jewish community, a primarily Hebrew context; thus, Jesus wouldn't have had reason to talk about homosexuality. It's not like they were having gay pride parades on the streets of Jerusalem. And Israel already had the Torah, which forbids homosexual activity.
Naturally, I don't see a problem with homosexuality. In the last few years that I called myself a Christian, I wanted to reconcile my belief in the infallibility of the Bible with my acceptance of homosexuality. I couldn't. I was bothered by the fact that, outside of the Bible's condemnation of it, I couldn't find a good reason to say homosexuality is a bad thing.
Clayton, a Bible-believing Christian, thinks homosexuality is wrong. I may disagree with him fervently, but I also take issue with those who try to label my friend as judgmental. Hell, he's not only my best friend, he is, as I said, one of the few people to whom I can say anything without fear of being judged. He's not judgmental, even though I think his belief is incorrect.
Purpose and Meaning
"I miss the feeling of divine purpose," I said to Clayton as I dunked my pizza slice in the pool of hot sauce on my plate. The biggest draw to ministry for me was the sense that my work on earth had eternal implications. Mechanics work on cars. Doctors work on bodies. Ministers work on souls. How could anything be more important than that? I haven't felt that same sense of purpose and meaning in my life since I gave up ministry.
This is what makes religion so damn alluring: the promise of meaning and special purpose; the sense that one's life isn't ordinary, that the actions of this short life have cosmic significance and one simply won't be gone and forgotten after death; the promise of a fairy tale ending in which all wrongs are made right, the guilty are punished while the "righteous" are justified, and the glass slipper of salvation fits ever so perfectly on the foot of the true believer.
This is why believers lament so deeply when one of the sheep leaves the fold. They don't understand how someone could give up the glory and feeling of validation that comes with walking on the "narrow road" of faith. I understand. There was a time when I bought into it. I felt significant. I felt special. Often, this feeling turned into hubris, and with it a tendency to look down on those whose work wasn't as significant as mine. I even pitied the "unsaved." Believers have such a hard time examining their own beliefs critically because the effect the promises of religion have on a person can be overwhelming. Believers want that cosmic significance, leading them to get swept up in a wave of emotion. Consequently, they tell us to "taste and see that the Lord is good." An oft-repeated quote by C.S. Lewis comes to mind:
"I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen. Not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else."
Enraptured by feelings of cosmic significance and acceptance by god, many Christians say we need to "believe in order to see." I was told recently that I need to "plug myself into the life of God" so that I can "be aware of the invisible spiritual realm." This notion is diametrically opposed to critical thinking, which demands that we first see in order to believe.
Maybe your beliefs make you feel great. Maybe your view of the world makes you feel special and helps you feel better about yourself. Those feelings don't make your beliefs true, regardless of how amazing those beliefs make you feel. Truth isn't determined by your emotions. Reality is entirely unconcerned with how you feel.
I no longer have that sense of divine purpose, but that's okay. I remember one of my favorite quotes:
"It is better to be a human being dissatisfied than a pig satisfied; better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied." ~ Mill
Better to have a firm grasp on reality than to be lost in fantasy, even if the fantasy makes us feel better.
Clayton, rather than telling me to "plug into god," suggested that I reclaim some of that lost feeling of purpose by pursuing my passion of helping others. Clayton reminded me that I've seen plenty of tough times in my life, and my experiences have made me empathetic to the plight of those less fortunate. I think he's absolutely correct.
Contradictions in the Bible
On Facebook, Clayton wrote that he "welcomes skepticism and criticism of the Bible when it is saturated in thought, logic, and an understanding of the issues at stake as a whole. But it is incredibly frustrating to read the voluminous amount of 'argument' or 'evidence' of the 'clear errors in the Bible' that could be reconciled by any first year Bible college student, or anyone who had...you know...read the book that they are attacking."
I don't know what specific criticisms of the Bible Clayton had in mind, so I can't say whether Clayton is justified here, but I can sympathize to an extent. I've visited a lot of websites that display hundreds of alleged Bible contradictions and errors. In my own journey from Christian minister to agnostic theist to atheist, one thing has remained constant: I am a Bible scholar. I probably know more about the Bible (and more of the Bible) than most people who read this blog. I say this not to brag, but to make a point: I know how difficult interpreting some biblical passages can be. I've seen critics of the Bible level accusations that, quite frankly, are based in misunderstanding.
Of course, I've also seen several criticisms of the Bible that are, in my estimation, completely warranted. But poor research and drawing incorrect conclusions about the Bible due to a lack of study is counterproductive. If you want to criticize the Bible, do it well. There are plenty of good criticisms out there without having to resort to creating silly ones. If you want to promote critical thinking, then you have to actually think critically, even - and especially - when it comes to examining the Bible.
Dead-Logic.com
