Everything went well. The judge was nice. Kim and I got along and even talked a while after it was all over. We said our goodbyes. I left the courthouse as Kim went to the appropriate office to reclaim her maiden name.
Funny thing is, she really does get me. She understands the way I think. As we talked, I told her that this is a chance for each of us to learn and grow. I told her about my decision to become a martial arts instructor, and how I didn't find my dream in that semester of grad school after all. I told her that, while there's always going to be things I regret about the past, I don't regret the experiences. I wouldn't change it. Her response: "The path is the goal." Yeah, she gets it.
Kim and I were good together. We could have been great together, but we had a lot of miscommunication. We have an age gap, and it turns out that, even though some couples who differ in age have successful relationships, we were simply on two different wavelengths. Not long after we got married, she would go out to have a good time while I stayed home to study. This turned into a pattern in which she simply wasn't home during the weekends. I never went out with her, and she never wanted to stay home with me. Each of us felt neglected by the other. I can consider this a lesson in the importance of communication and listening.
She did a lot of bad things to hurt me. I learned the hard way that the person I married had a lot of issues she needed to sort out before she could hope to have a successful relationship, or even a successful life. As I spoke with her today I could see in her eyes and hear in her voice true penitence. Do I forgive her? Yes. I have to forgive her. I know what it's like to have made some really bad mistakes. I know what it's like to have hurt someone deeply. I know what it's like to fall into a hole that I helped create for myself. I can see she's making an effort to get her head on straight. I wish her the best. I hope she learns from this. I hope she grows as a human being, and finds wisdom, peace, and stability. I am confident that she can.
I forgive her. If I didn't, I'd turn into my first wife. But I'm not Becka. I can't allow hatred to rule my actions, or bitterness to dictate my decisions. I have experienced every possible emotion throughout all this, and have gone through every stage of grief several times over. I am, and have been for a while now, at the stage of acceptance. I am happy. I have a peace within me that I haven't felt since, like, ever. Life is good. Life isn't easy, but it's good.
And that's good enough.
Dead-Logic.com
I Got Divorced Today...
I Got Divorced Today...
Posted by , Published at 8:45 AM and have
