I've worked in a bank for longer than I like to admit. Over the years of working with the public, I've learned one thing: People are stupid. Rich people are stupid. Poor people are stupid. Most of the world is filled with idiots, and I have had the misfortune of handling their money for most of my adult life. If I may, I would like to vent my frustrations by offering my list of people who are exceptionally stupid:
These People are stupid...
People who staple their transactions. It's just annoying, and it doesn't really make much sense. We have to remove the staples before we can put it in our proof work, so stop it.
People who ring the buzzer as soon as they drive up to the window. When you do that, it actually makes me walk slower towards the window and take longer to do your transaction, because I now hate you.
People who come to the bank five minutes before it closes. This is the unwritten rule amongst employees of any business: At five till we're ready to go home and we're busy preparing to go home. Everyone does it. You do it at your job too. Do unto other businesses as you would have them do unto you. Moron.
People who make the check they want to deposit payable to the bank rather than themselves. You're not making a deposit into the bank's account; you're making a deposit into YOUR account. Make the check out to yourself. And for the love of everything holy and sweet, ENDORSE THE BACK OF THE CHECK.
People who yell at me because of bank policy, as though it were up to me what this stupid bank does. Look skippy, I just work here. I don't make the rules. If you're actually able to yell at me, chances are good I'm not in charge. Important people don't have to deal with you.
People who yell at me because they can't manage their own account, as if I forced them to get stupid and overdraw their account. I didn't access your account and change the balance to negative. Just because you still have checks doesn't mean you still have any money in your account.
People who drive up and stare into the window looking confused. I don't get it. We're open. I'm walking up to the window. Stop looking at me like your brain just leaked out your ears. You worry about making sure your transaction is ready. I'll worry about making it to the window.
People who stick their arm out the window with their transaction in hand as soon as they pull up. I call this the "silent buzzer." This also makes me walk slower to the window. Sometimes I have to tell the customer to move his hand so I can extend the drawer without hitting it.
People who try to push in the drawer at the drive up. In the history of man has there EVER been a drive up in which the customer is required to PUSH the drawer in? We have pretty buttons that both extend AND retract the drawer (oooh). I know, the science behind it is astonishing, but we have it. Stop pushing the drawer.
People who talk on their cell phones while they're being waited on. Yeah, this is an old complaint certainly not limited to banking, but it's still rude and annoying. The call can wait. You're not that important. Respect the fact that you're making a business transaction, THEN call your friends and gossip about what happened on your favorite reality show last night. I can't tell you how many times I've tried to get a customer's attention and spent several minutes watching the idiot sitting in her car babbling on and on with her cell phone in her ear.
People who just give you a check and say "deposit this in my account" like I'm supposed to be psychic and know exactly who they are and what they want. The kicker is, most of these people have more than one account. And more often than you think, when I ask them, "Which account do you want to deposit this in?" they respond with, "I only have one account." How can you not know how many accounts you have?
People who deposit cash and get cash back like this one guy I waited on who deposited a 20 dollar bill with a check and wanted 40 dollars back in cash. Are you just bored, or really that stupid?
People who don't start writing anything or get anything ready until after they've already pulled up to the drive-up window. It's a drive up window, meant for convenience and expediency. Be ready before you get there. That's the idea.
People who withdraw thousands of dollars in cash when a cashier's check would work just fine. These are usually old people who for some reason must believe that they can't get robbed because people in the world are nice. "Okay Mrs. Smith, here's your $6000. I hope your armored car and bodyguard are ready to retrieve you at the door." Hell, I'm always a little tempted to follow them outside and hit them over the head myself. The world is full of stupid people. Stop being one of them.
People who get angry or offended when you ask to see their ID, as though every bank employee is supposed to know who this person is. Sorry, It doesn't matter how old you are or how long you've been a customer, not every employee is going to know who you are. Do you know every employee? Rule number one for any bank employee: ESTABLISH THE IDENTITY OF YOUR CUSTOMER. You'd be pissed if we didn't check IDs or signatures and gave all your money to someone else, so get over it.
People who don't roll down their window all the way and then have to stretch uncomfortably to get their transaction in the drawer. And most of the time the customer has power windows. You can't take a second to hit a button? You feel compelled to perform strange contortions in order to get your transaction in the drawer?
People who pull up behind a car in the first drive up lane when there are other lanes open. Why are you waiting? We have two other open lanes for you to use. And of course you're going to be pissed at me if it takes a while for the person in front of you to finish his banking business.
People who ask for a "blank deposit slip." I always want to say to these people, "I'm sorry, all we have left are deposit slips that are already filled out. You can look through them if you'd like. Maybe you'll get lucky and one of them will have your name and account number on it."
Dead-Logic.com
Stupid Must Be Contagious
Stupid Must Be Contagious
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